I Don't Want to be a Jonah

Jonah... Called of God for a purpose. Instead of turning to God for support and peace on his feelings toward Ninevah, Jonah runs from his calling. While running, he runs headlong into trouble that never would have come his way, if not for thinking his way was higher than God's

So many times I feel like I am heading down the road to be a Jonah. Please don't misunderstand, I am NOT a Jonah, but I know what God requires of me (or at least I feel like I do) and then other times I wonder if He is requiring MORE of me than I first thought.

As many of you know, I have my Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies from California State University, San Bernardino. I could be teaching right now if I had stayed on and began my Credential program. However, there are just times (especially during services) when I wonder if that is where I am supposed to be heading. I know so many people now expect me to return to school and finish my Credential. Please don't take this wrong, but it is what I would LOVE to do. However, is it what GOD wants me to do? I know a lot of people have negative feelings toward Bible Colleges, and sure, not everyone is perfect here, or have great walks with God. But, as my mom says, if it's in your heart, you'll do right. I just feel that coming to Indiana Bible College was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I believe that ALREADY my music has improved, I am not an amazing pianist, nor will I ever be, but I am working on it, and I plan to do as much for God in the music area as possible. Teaching will always be a choice for me, but as of right now, I just want God's will to become EVERYTHING to me. If it means giving up every single desire that I've ever had, then so be it.

I don't believe that my the desire to teach is for no reason. I believe that God has a purpose for me in that area too in due time, but I also believe that I need to totally conform, transfrom, and mold MY will to become His. Just like that song says "The more I seek You, the more I find You, the more I find You, the more I love You" God desires so much more of me and I just want my life to show that I desire totally and completely HIS Will and only His will. I know I am not alone in this "searching for God's Will" process, but most of all I just want God to know that I don't ever want to be a Jonah, and that I am not fearful of the future, just curious what God plans for my ministry to be.